I’ve always (as far as I can remember) had the feeling that time went by too fast — except maybe during some long, unending summer holidays when I was a kid or young teenager. I’ve been thinking about that recently. What makes time seem to go by “too fast” is simply that I’m frustrated that I have accomplished what I thought I would in a given timeframe.
What makes it so difficult to evaluate what can be done in a day? How can I change my way of projecting myself in the future to be more realistic, or even better, pessimistic? Gosh, imagine if the story in my head went like this: “Wow, this was supposed to take all day, and I did it in 3 hours! I have lots of free time to do other stuff in, or relax!”
But that never happens. What happens is: “OK, I’ll be reasonable, and plan to write this blog post and send this e-mail today, even though I feel I should be able to do more in a day.” And at the end of the day, I’ve maybe written the blog post, but I haven’t sent the e-mail — or vice-versa — leaving me with a feeling of failure rather than accomplishment.
Just to make things clear: I’m not concerned about the “project management” aspect of evaluating how much time things take. I know that most of the time, we just can’t evaluate that correctly. What interests me is why we (or at least I) systematically over-evaluate what can be done in a day.
So, a little news for those who might care. I had a blood test done recently because I suspected I had anaemia again, and my suspicions were correct. That explains why I feel so exhausted, tired, worn-out, fall ill, and can’t seem to really get back on my feet. As this seems to be a recurring problem, we’re trying to figure out the cause, which is probably digestive.
I’ll spare you the gory details about how they try to figure out if your stomach is too acid and hindering good iron absorption, but I’m not dealing very well with this kind of exam.
Aside from that, things are a bit… complicate/difficult in my person life [insert comments about dealing with inner demons, etc.].
I’m trying to reposition myself on the job market a little, because I have the feeling the market isn’t really ready for some of the stuff I’d really like to be doing. It’s more “refocus” rather than reposition, actually. No drastic change, but trying to see (and state) a bit clearer what I’m offering to my clients. There’s also the company and related projects, but I’m having trouble putting as much energy as I’d like into it right now because of what I just explained above.
So, in short, nothing really serious, but rather rough times. Should be better in a couple of weeks, though.
So, (you can dig all this out from Twitter, but I’m too lazy tonight to do all the linking) I’m quite happy with these last two days.
After a particularly grey and boring day on Thursday, I had an epiphany: I needed to do more fun things. I had been traipsing around town and in museums (not particularly dull, but not particularly exciting) alone all day, and obviously, this was not for me.
So, quick thought. What do I find fun? Well, actually, doing stuff with people. So, I decided to get organised and spend my time with people instead of “visiting Frankfurt because I’m there and I’ve never been there and so I should visit”. However, I have to keep in mind that I’m a little overworked these days (despite being far from making piles of cash right now, that’s what happens when you’re freelance), so this will have to be “non work-related people” or existing friends. But… it worked, and I had two (and a half!) lovely days in Frankfurt after my rather depressing first contact with the publishing world.
Today I also did three things I’m quite happy about (I can’t remember if it’s in the Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun or elsewhere, but I once heard “do one thing a day that scares you”):
– asked a couple of teenagers playing with cellphone ringtones or something to turn it down (twice, because it didn’t work the first time!)
– told a visibly inebriated guy who made a beeline for me at the bus stop with the intention of striking up a conversation to bugger off (he didn’t, so I insisted, got angry, and finally moved with the friend I was talking to)
– bumped into an old friend at the bus stop, and decided to for a coffee one of these next weeks to catch up.
Also, I spent the day offline today (except now and this morning). Will repeat that weekly. I really need a day off each week.